Summer Reading

My oldest kid reads.  I love this because she has learned an important life skill, and I hate it because she doesn't want me to read to her anymore.  In fact, she wants to read to her little sibs, too.  So, while they are working on their summer reading charts I thought I'd work on mine.

Here's my tentative list.  Looking to add a few so if you have suggestions, speak up!  Oh, and this is not a fiction reading list.  I love a good mystery, but I like to sit and read the whole thing at once and I just don't have time for that.  :)

1.  Global Soccer Mom (Shayne Moore)
2.  7: ... something about staging a mutiny against excesss (Jen Hatmaker)
3.
4.
5.

Review: Interrupted (Jen Hatmaker) & Missional Mom (Helen Lee)

Since summer is a 1/3 of the way done, I don't think I'll have time to squeeze in more than this.  But if I get lots of suggestions, I'll save some for my Fall Reading list.  :)

Ready?  Go.

Awkward Applause

I was at the mall with my kids and a lady literally applauded me.  For real clapping.  At my face.  It went like this:  Random lady approaches me as I'm changing Rocco's diaper (my mom, aunt, and the other kids are waiting outside the Macy's restroom door that she just came through) and says "It's you.  I applaud you.  (clapping) 4 kids??  You're amazing."  I heard what she said but the words did not match her tone.  It was more like a "You're crazy" than a "You're amazing." I thought to myself... certainly I can't be the first and only person she has seen with 4 kids.  Right?  Am I the only mom who has braved the mall with all the children in tow?  Certainly not.  My kids are kind of close together, all approximately 2 years apart, but I've seen closer.  I've got two, almost three, out of diapers and in school (preschool counts!)  No one was hanging out of the stroller or destroying the racks in the store or screaming or fighting or running away.  It was just a normal moment.  Lots of talking, lots of noise in general.  Sometimes more noise than my introverted self can handle.  But that's why God gave me kids who go to sleep early.  I have to brave the crazies during the day, but He gave me sanity in the evening (though I'd like to discuss with Him why He gave me early risers).

Anyway.  It was super awkward and I wasn't sure how to respond.  I said thank you, but I'm pretty sure it came out sounding more like a question.  Don't all of you fellow moms just pick yourself up and carry on through your days with your kids whether you have one or two or four or more?  It doesn't earn you a badge to leave the house with multiple children, does it?  Doesn't everyone need playdates and trips to the grocery store and bathroom breaks in the department store?  I'm just wondering.  Four doesn't feel much different than three right now, just one more head to count and feed and bathe and tickle and clothe.

I suppose her comment was better than the usual "Don't you know how that happens?" or "You know how to prevent that, right?"  Or even the "You've got your hands full."  Because I do have my hands full.  But it's such a short time.  And then they get bigger and I'll have my hands to myself and I'll be wishing back some of these hand-holding, hands-full years.  And when I'm older and in my hands-free years, and I notice a young-ish mom with full hands, I'll smile at her and tell her it gets easier.  I'll hold the elevator for her to wheel her double-wide stroller inside.  I'll hold the doors if I see her coming or going, knowing her hands are full enough.  I'll applaud her, but not in an awkward way, more of a "Been there, sister" kind of way.  Because I know her kids are as precious to her as mine are to me, and even though we may have one or two or three more than the average family, I would not trade them for anything.

On the brink

Do you ever feel like you are standing on the brink of change?  A major, life-shifting, plan-altering change looming on the horizon?  That's how I have felt for the last several days.  Perhaps it has been building up for some time and I'm just now getting enough sleep to realize it, or perhaps something new is brewing in God's plan for our family.  It doesn't feel scary or exciting, as if I knew whether the change was bad or good.  It just feels... near.  I have a few speculations, but I'll have to let the story unfold to know for sure.

Have you ever felt this way?  Can you look back and see God preparing you?

Rocco's Story

I remember being exactly 38 weeks, being crazy uncomfortable, pleading with God for mercy.  In hindsight, I can see exactly how He granted me that.  It just didn't look like what I expected.  Mercy came, for me, in an amazingly wonderful birth of the biggest baby I'd ever had. :)

I had an appointment Tuesday afternoon, March 19 (Due date was Thursday the 21st).  It was an appointment I didn't even want to have because I had hoped the baby would have already arrived.  I was cranky.  I was tired.  And I was beyond uncomfortable.  I almost didn't even want them to check my progress because I knew it didn't matter until I was in labor anyway.  But they did check and I'm so glad they did.  Because I was already at 5 cm and my fastest labor (Mattie) was just over 4 hours (starting at 1 cm)... and because Brian works nights, we have other kids, and factoring in the drive to the Birth Center, we decided to just head in to the Center after we tuck the kids in bed for the night (with Grandma already there).  The plan was, they would break my water and then I would either go into labor or I would take a nap until I did, then we would already be there if things went quickly.

So that's what we did.

We arrived around 8:30, checked in, did the water breaking thing around 9 (I was at 6 cm at that point) and attempted to wait patiently.  From here it's kind of blurry on times.  I know that at 10:30 p.m. contractions were 4 minutes apart, and I was laboring fairly easily in the (amazing) tub o' water.  At 11:20, he was born with "Over the Rainbow"by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole playing in the background, coincidentally the last song on our playlist.  I remember looking at him in all his baby perfection and exclaiming, "We did it!" I checked out his hair to see if it was red or dark (or a very unlikely blonde).  I remember getting the OK from Brian to pick his name (made easier because his hair was NOT red).  And I remember the shocking discovery that he was a whopping 9 lbs 4 oz and 21 inches long.  He was my heaviest, longest baby with the biggest head.  And I delivered him without meds.  And while I will never say that it was super comfortable, it really - for real - was not nearly as painful as I had built it up to be in my head.  I was not screaming like they show you in movies or TV.  It was, actually, pretty calm and peaceful.  This could be due to the speedy labor, or the fact that I'm an internalizer.  Is that a word?  I process everything inside... illness, fear, pain, frustration, etc.  You can talk to me, but I may not talk back.  You can hand me my Chapstick but don't you dare touch me.  Turns out, I'm the same way in labor.

And because I've been asked a billion times...
His name was my pick, not Brian's.  I don't know exactly what I liked most about it or why it became my favorite.  Rocco is an Italian name which means "Rest".  I suppose on some level I hoped he would bring us a season of Rest, as we have seemingly been in a constant state of change and uncertainty for several years.  I liked it because I didn't know any other kids with that name.  And, of course, it met our criteria for continuing the accidental tradition of having a double letter.  His middle name, John, means God is Gracious, an important reminder for me as I struggled so much with the beginning of this pregnancy.  But John is also a family name on my side.  I have an Uncle John, whom I have admired my entire life as an example of being an imitator of God in the way he loves his family.  And, among several others, one of the first of my ancestors to come over to the US from Germany was named John. Since Brian's family was honored with Collin's middle name, Quinn, after his grandpa, I figured it was my turn.  :)

And there you have it.  Rocco's story.  His young life has already been full of adventure.  Maybe someday I'll write about that.  Until then, you should know that I am so incredibly thankful for the gift of Rocco, and grateful the Lord gave me a window of time before he was born to come around with my attitude.  We love him so much!