Nesting and other things

So, as most of you know, my "official" due date is October 14, just over 6 weeks from now. (I say "official" because I've never gone all the way to my due date, as I tend to prefer the induction option since I have large babies!) So, in theory, if I go until 38 weeks like I did with #2... that's just 4 short weeks from now. EEEKKKS!

In an attempt to get all my ducks in a row, so to speak, before #3 makes his debut, I've been a busy bee making my list and checking it off (then adding to the list again!)
Collin's room is almost finished (need to move the rocker from the van to the room and put away the paint cans). Soon I'll do a quick load of newbie things with the special baby detergent (I love that part). And the upstairs is essentially done after all the rearranging. Phew!

I'm still working on the downstairs, though that's more of a daily thing since its where we spend most of our time while we're home. As I look around, there are toys are everywhere, mail & papers to sort, misc baby items that have been shared with us that need to find their way to their proper place (car seat to the car or garage, bassinet to our room, etc).

AND, today, I just made version #2 of homemade laundry soap. My friend Karla has the "recipe" posted here on her blog (also linked on the left "In the Grip of Grace") and I tried it with Dr. Bronner's peppermint soap... and OH HOW YUMMY my kitchen smells. Can't wait to do laundry! No, really!

In the meantime, I'm LOVING the volleyball gig. No, I'm not playing. I'm the assistant coach for 8th grade at BCS. It's working out well since Brian is teaching there - I bring the girls to him after school and he brings them home & gets them in bed before I get back. It's a short season (mostly just the month of September) which is perfect since I'll be having a baby right after that! It's something that I love that is just for me, which I haven't really done since #1 came along other than a few hours here or there. We could never swing this for a long period of time, but I'm thankful that my husband was willing to make it work so that I could have this time before #3 joins us! It's one of those times where I feel like "me". Not "mommy", not "wife", not "employee"... though I am all those things and wouldn't trade any of those titles! Sometimes it's nice to just be reminded that I am a person with my own interests and hobbies outside of the normal routine of daily life!

OK... a few pics just to be kind. :)

Hmm. Where have I been?

So, it's the last day of August. Oopsie! You know when things occur in life (let's say, the events surrounding my Grams' Home-going... i think that's a new word...) that just throw your routine in a tizzy and it takes forever to feel "normal"? That's what August was like for me. I had a birthday and next thing I knew it, the month was coming to an end! Eeks!

I did follow along on the challenge, even did the sorting papers one, which I HATE doing. So even though it didn't really look like I had planned with a cute little blog and all, I DID do most of the items on the list, just not in order!

So sorry to disappoint, but life keeps going and I had to catch up!

The fight is over

Tonight around 9 pm, my sweet Grams was called Home.

I went to see her this afternoon. It was the first time that I looked at her and thought she looked more like a hallow shell of a lady than she did like my grandma. I didn't know what to say to her, even though the silence was kind of difficult. I held her hand for a while as I watched her face, hoping for some kind peaceful expression, but all I could see was a weary body waiting for a final breath.

I said goodbye to her today. Until today I had always said "I'll be back later" or "I'll come back tomorrow"... today when I left I said "Bye Grams, I love you", and gave her a kiss on her hand. It was such a hard day to see her that way. I wasn't sure I had it in me to keep coming back to visit.

This week, while difficult, has been a blessing... we all got to say goodbye and spend time with her that we each needed in our own way. We are all exhausted emotionally and physically, but we are so thankful to know that her long fight has ended and that she is resting peacefully in the arms of the Lord.

Please keep praying for us in the next few days, and for my mom and her siblings as they take care of all the details that still need to be arranged, as well as the safe travels for the other family members that will come in over the next couple days.

Grams

Change of plans.

While I still plan to participate in the challenge... it will have to wait! This is the first time I have had a chance to sit down and blog about what is going on here right now, so pardon the frantic catch-up instead of a well-thought out post. And pardon me if what I say sound harsh -- I don't know how to talk about what is happening without being blunt!

To be brief, my grandma is dying. Not just any grandma -- Grams. The grandma my mom and I lived with from age 4 until, well, off and on after college until I got married (age 26?)

The summary: She's been in St. Anne's nursing home/rehab since her stroke 6 years ago. Her body is continuing to age and do things that old bodies do, but nothing that unusual until about a month ago when she was randomly diagnosed with a rare, aggressive form of Hodgkin's. She had surgery two weeks ago, and her first chemo treatment was on my birthday (one week ago). The next day, she was in the ER and they were telling us we needed to decide things like ventilators, intubation, and life support. WHAT? Anyway, Grams kept saying she wasn't going to make it this time and she was tired of fighting, etc. She made it until Saturday (and actually had a good day on Saturday) when her sons flew in from Texas. From that night on it has just been a rapid decline in her "status" and Sunday night she was admitted to the hospice wing, as she had declined life support, feeding tubes, etc. She just wanted to go peacefully.

I have no idea how she is still alive. She has been in the hospice wing since Sunday night a...nd the medical people in all parts of the hospital have told us on numerous occasions since her admission to the ER on Friday, to say good-bye... and she keeps saying she is ready to go... and still she hangs on. She has been choking on liquid and even ice chips and liquid medications since Saturday. She rejected a feeding tube. She's not on an IV. her kidneys, lungs, and liver are failing and shutting down. And she has been on morphine pretty steadily since Sunday night when they moved her to hospice. It's unbelievable really. Makes me wonder what she is waiting for.

Anyway, she was still waking up sporadically until sometime late Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, but since then she has seemed to hear, but she doesn't speak or open her eyes (but will, for example, cough on command). To watch her at this stage is very difficult -- especially for my mom, who never wanted to watch her suffer. We know that she can't feel much of anything with all the morphine, but to watch the labored breathing and choking on mucus and such is so hard. She was such a strong lady. It's hard to see her this way.

Please be praying specifically for Grams' sister, Karen, as well as my mom and her siblings (Diane, John, and Scott) in this time. I seem to be coping in a different way than the others, perhaps a blend of my personality, life experiences, and the fact that I'm pregnant, but I'm not as emotional as I am becoming very sentimental and nostalgic. I just so much want for her suffering to end and that she will know real Peace in the arms of the Father very soon.

31 Days to Build a Better Home Challenge

Most of you have no idea what my last 20 months have been like because I haven't told you. I never wanted to blog about the journey we were going through because I didn't want to be a "negative nelly" for all of the internet to see.

However, in my lack of communication, I also failed to share the absolutely ridiculous ways God was working in our lives and particularly in MINE. About a year ago I spent some serious time pondering and researching and reflecting (etc) on what it means to be a Godly wife. I'm not talking about saying prayers at bedtime or going to Bible Study, though those things are certainly great things to do. I wanted to know what God required of me and what my role as a wife was, as defined by HIS WORD, not just my cultural influences.

Anyway, in my searching I discovered this blog and I just peeked over and saw they are doing a 31 day challenge... and voila!... a new "goal" for me for the month. (I like achievable goals and structure, so this is perfect for me). :) And my 31st birthday is tomorrow (Aug. 5) and I have been feeling rather ho-hum about it. A 31 day challenge for my 31st birthday sounds like a good idea, yes?

I'm a little behind, but actually have been doing some of these things in the last week, so I'll count them.

I'll be blogging every day (or two) and filling you all in on my progress. Want to join me?!

So far...

Day 1 - Menu Planning - I haven't done this one, but I will for next week. :)

Day 2- Catch up with an old friend - I didn't catch up with her on this day, but on Monday I scheduled a kid-free coffee date (gasp!) for Tuesday with my friend Kim.

Day 3- Teach kids to help in a new way - It was raining here on Tuesday so I had planned a cleaning day. Originally I was just going to let the oldest, nearly 4 years old, do her thing while I ticked things off my list. Then I figured she could learn to help. This was perfect timing because her room and the toy room had been destroyed and picked up 4 times in 4 days and nothing was in the right place. So I taught her how to start with a crazy mixed-up room and sort through one box/bag/cubby at a time until we had everything put back in its place. It took a while, but she did a GREAT job and the girls' room looks fabulous!

Day 4 - Clean a spot that no one sees - I didn't do this one today (but I might look for another one before the day is done), but on Thursday I cleaned underneath the drawer under the oven where. Not the drawer itself. No. I pulled it out and cleaned under the drawer. GROSS, but worth it. And I found the missing letter "a" to the girls' leap frog word builder thing. :) This one is particularly great for the nesting that is beginning to kick in as I approach the 30-weeks pregnant mark. :)